Unexpecting
By Ashley Bitterman
UnexpectingApr 18, 2022
Moms Make The Best Decisions They Can For Their Children (Christine)
Christine has been pregnant 5 times in the past 4 years, but three of those pregnancies ended in a devastating loss. She tells her story while capturing real and honest emotions that come with pregnancy after loss, processing a loss, and parenting after loss. She shares her experience with her son Liam, who was diagnosed with irreparable illnesses in utero, making him incompatible with life and forcing Christine into a medical termination at 18 weeks.
The Brain Thinks, The Heart Feels (Jen Marr)
Jen Marr is the Founder and CEO of Inspiring Comfort, and author of Showing Up: A Comprehensive Guide to Comfort and Connection. I am so honored to have Jen as a guest, as she lends her expertise to offer guidance on how to show up and comfort the people in your life who have experienced a trauma or devastation such as a pregnancy loss. She talks through the importance of knowing how to act on your feeling of empathy as it relates to ultrasound technicians, employers, and the people who surround those suffering a loss.
Jen's book is available now. Click here to get your copy.
We Need To Find The Beauty In It (Courtney)
Courtney lost her son Luca at 23 weeks pregnant due to his life-threatening diagnoses of Spina Bifida and Hydrocephalus. Courtney's powerful outlook on her devastating experience is nothing short of inspiring. She talks through how she aimed to find the beauty throughout the trauma, and shares essential tips and resources for how to prepare for the immediate aftermath of a loss.
We Have To Have Faith (Annette)
Annette details her harrowing history of recurring pregnancy loss. She relives the trauma of waking up from anesthesia after an emergency surgery to learn her baby had died and she'd lost her uterus. She talks about her resilience and how she hasn't given up on her journey to welcoming another baby into the world, which she hopes to pursue through surrogacy.
If You Don't Hope It's Going To Work, Then Why Are You Doing It? (Aaron)
Aaron shares his journey with infertility and pregnancy loss, having experienced several failed embryo transfers with his wife after multiple IVF cycles. He discusses the gender inequity that's present and how he approached his role as the non-birthing partner to ensure his wife felt the support she needed, while also navigating his own emotions. Aaron expresses his disappointment with the current bar that's set for men and how he feels there's a great opportunity to improve.
You're Allowed To Have Feelings, Mom (Sky)
Sky takes me through her history of recurring loss and details the trauma of losing her daughter, Lennox, to a medical termination in her second trimester, due to significant brain abnormalities. She talks about the importance of giving yourself a chance to grieve, and how she's channeled her grief into writing a book and hosting a support group to help others who have suffered from similar experiences.
I Can't Take Much More (Arielle)
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I'm Tired. I'm So Very Tired. (Ash)
Ash from Darwin, Australia has suffered 5 pregnancy losses in just two years. Two of these losses were due to partial molar pregnancies. The chance of experiencing a partial molar is just 1 in 1200, and the grim diagnosis can progress to become dangerous and cancerous. Ash and her partner are navigating the recurring grief while also showing up for their 4-year-old daughter, who yearns for a baby brother or sister.
I Have to Believe That Things Will Get Better (Annie)
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Grief and Happiness Can Coexist (Jackie)
Jackie shares her story of losing her son, Richard, during pre-term labor at nearly 35 weeks, due to a fetal maternal hemorrhage. She describes the unfortunate mishandling of her treatment and the shock and trauma of waking up from (non-consented) anesthesia to learn her baby had died. Jackie shares the beautiful and inspiring ways she honors Richard, and how she's channeling her energy into advocacy and giving a voice to others in similar situations.
That Might Have Been My Only Shot At Ever Having A Baby (Julia)
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The Most Beautiful Baby I Had Ever Seen (Laney)
Laney shares her story of making to to 41-weeks before her baby, Hudson, died in-utero, forcing her into a stillbirth. Laney talks about how her faith was affected by her heartbreaking experience and how she continues to honor Hudson each day.
I Guess I'm Not Pregnant (Leanna)
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He Looks Just Like Me (Lauren I.)
Lauren shares her story of waking up from anesthesia to find out her newborn son didn't make it through her traumatic C-section. She describes the unimaginable pain of having a surgery performed while she could feel everything that was happening, and the aftermath of grappling with the senseless notion that a child so perfect has died.
Episode 4 Preview (Lauren I)
Preview: Lauren describes the nightmare moment when her husband walked in to see his newborn son and was horrified to see the medical staff performing CPR on his tiny, lifeless body.
She's With My Dad Now (Lauren)
Lauren talks about the multiple traumas she's suffered throughout her life and her experience developing velamentous cord insertion and vasa previa, leading her to make the "decision" to terminate her pregnancy at 23 weeks, just days before the law would prohibit her from doing so.
Episode 3 Preview (Lauren)
Preview: Lauren recounts the moment she discovered she may be too far along to terminate her high-risk, unhealthy pregnancy.
There Was No Heartbeat (Dee)
Dee shares her story of suffering three back-to-back miscarriages within the course of a year. She talks through the negative effects of being treated by apathetic and callous medical professionals, and explains how emotions can differ through each experience.
I Didn't Know I Was Pregnant (Stasia)
Stasia courageously shares her story of experiencing a stillbirth at 34 weeks, without even knowing she was pregnant.
Episode 1 Preview (Stasia)
Stasia recalls the harrowing memory of delivering a stillborn baby after not even knowing she was pregnant.
Unexpecting Trailer
Hi. I'm Ashley. I had an abortion on June 21, 2021. I started Unexpecting to create a safe place for people to share their stories of pregnancy loss. My hope is to bring a sense of comfort to those who feel alone in this undeserved place of suffering, and to shine a light on the hope for the future.